"I wanna be an Airborn Ranger"

It has been one week I have been without Kyle;one week Tyler has been without his daddy...

Sometimes I feel so strong, while other times so broken down and empty. I miss him.

Despite what I just wrote, when I wrote him last night I explained that this "break" could be for the best. Him and I have had a hell of a year, with many ups and downs and I think we both need this to gather our thoughts, regain our composure and just remember how it feels to really 'miss' one another and just long to hold each other. ((Hey, I am trying to be optomistic here!))

My dad is flying me out to San Antonio the end of July for 4 days to see him graduate [thank you daddy!]. I am absolutely thrilled to be able to do this and so so appreciative. I know it means everything to Kyle, as well.

As far as my friend situation goes, with Kyle being gone and all it has made me realize what it truely important in life (and what just isn't). It has opened up my eyes even more to show me who true friends are... My mom told me once that things will occur throughout my lifetime that will leave me sometimes with less friends and well, I have already been through so many of those situations and I am only 21. Buuuttt, I guess I am learning at a young age how to to properly filter out good and bad people (not really 'good' and 'bad' but rather 'needed' or 'not needed') and I have learned that its better to have only a few great friends rather than numerous good friends...

Had an amazing night!

Gosh, seriously...

..I love the people I work for!

It makes me smile to know that

I will be missed..

Because I know that I am

truely loved.

That's all I really wanted...

Kyle, if you ever see this,

I miss you sooo much already.

I love you so much and am proud of you

like you wouldn't believe.

Thanks for being a man.

"I'm leaving on a jet plane.."

So my official journey begins...

I will kyle-less for the next 3 months, but will get to see him again in 6 weeks when I fly to Texas to watch him graduate from boot camp.

I am so so proud of him..

I gave my 1 month notice to my job yesterday. I will be packing mine and ty's things and moving to Mims with my father and his fiance' untill I move to Mississippi.

I must be honest, I am a little overwhelmed with the responsibility that weighs on my shoulders. I have bills coming in every directions and a toddler to care for all by myself. But I can do this, I can do this, I can do this....I think.....

I'm about to get on my scooter and zoom zoom zoom...

R.I.P

Amber Nicole & Rachael

It was fun while it lasted..

You live and you learn..

"Thank you SO much sir.

I really appreciate it!

No really, thank you"*

*Kyle and I went to the mall today and spoke with Sgt Elder. Unlike the other ass (sorry, that's the only word that describes him) he genuinely cares about our future and answered more than enough questions. He broke everything down for me and wrote it down. Wow.. I feel 10 pounds lighter (I wish!)!

Today I am angry.

I am mad.

Pissed.

Upset.

At you...

and you and you

and you.

T minus 9 days..

This weekend was fabulous.

Had some time with my friends,

but spent most of it snuggled up to Kyle.

When I am near him I feel like I am in heaven;

it's completely blissfull.

I feel safe.

These thoughts are what helped me decide

to pack up everything I own and move to

Mississippi with him.

Sitting here for 10 months without him

is not an option.

No way.

"But you're leaving your

family & friends"

people say

Ha.

Family? My father practically hates me.

Friends? I don't even know the meaning anymore.

The only thing practically keeping me here

is my job.

There my friends and family.

I just wish everyone was more supportive

about this decision. I would love to hear

"You're strong Amber, you can do this"

instead its "I think your making a huge mistake"

Lovely.