The 5 most beautiful days...

Seeing Kyle was absolutely amazing.

Every minute spent together was breath-taking..

We found out yesterday, for sure,

that I can't move for 5 weeks :[

But that gives me time to say goodbye

to friends and family...

Mississippi here I come!

"All my bags are packed, I'm ready to go.."

Tomorrow I fly out from Orlando at 8:00 a.m.

to see Kiely! :] Cannot believe boot

camp is over already..

I couldnt imagine not moving to

Mississippi with him and staying

here for another 8 months.. No way!

I will be back from Texas on Monday!

Nothing like

staying up 'till 1:00 a.m. laughing
with someone you've known
since 2nd grade.. :]

And once again..

..my heart crumbles into pieces.

3rd time is a charm.

Yesterday, after already speaking to Kiely once,
he got to call me AGAIN for doing something
else great in his flight! wow! :]

O-M-G

Today I spoke with Kiely for 15 whole minutes!

Wanted me to tell everyone that he did it and is

doing fine! :] And that he misses everyone!

Out with the old, in with the new!

Before & After:

Only

7 more weeks until Kyle and I try to conceive a baby!

:] :]

P.s.

Happy 4 years and 5 months baby :]

2-14-04

::Update::

So living with my dad and Liane has been great!
Everything I wished it to be..
Today we took my 2nd cousin, Morgan, to Orlando
to Lake Watterford. We went to Check E Cheese's
(Mine and Tyler's first time!)
then Marble Slab. Yummy!
Mission "Skinny (ier) Amber" is still in full swing.
Calculated the distance I have been walking every morning;
two miles. Heck yeah..
Spent some time in Liane's tanning bed..
..so relaxing!
I just want to look my absolute best when I see kyle.
I want his jaw to drop..
..cause I know mine will.
Gosh, I miss my husband.
But overall, happy.
Getting used to being a stay-at-home-mom.
Stress free; I actually have nails now.
I miss my friends but as they say,
what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
Looking forward to the trips to see them once I have moved!
My apartment in Port Orange is almost completely empty!
((Looking forward to receiving the deposit!!))
Fiances are killing me right now but I'm going to make it through this..
..I always do.
Looking at jobs on Keesler Air Force base in Mississippi,
hopefully will find one soon!
Tyler is growing, growing, growing!
Kyle will be shocked when he sees him!
I thinkkkk that's it! :] :]
Stay tuned...

Tick Tock Tick Tock...

Before I know it,

I will be in Kyle's arms!!

:] :]

Thank you.

I've had an awesome last two days.

It's been a long hard road, but I

think I have learned my lesson

when it comes to Friendship.

Thank you to the few of you

who prove yourself to me everyday..

Thanks for seeing the 'real' Amber.

(( Only 11 more days until I see Kyle! :] ))

When did we take that picture?

Last night was amazing.

SO needed.

Andreea ("Dr. Chih") and I went to Orlando;

First went to the Hue, then The Beacon,

then Vintage.

Took a carriage ride from each to the next.

I'm too honest to go to bars.

I opened up every conversation with

"Hi, I'm married and have a baby..

..still wanna talk to me?"

Most guys seemed to become distant.

Why can't anyone just be my friend :[

haha.

Only

8 more weeks until Kyle and I try to conceive our 2nd child!

:] :]

Boy or girl, It's fine with me!

It's going to be so magical...

I was thinking...

Wasn't life so much easier when we were younger?

We were so naive.

So unaware.

We had no bills to pay,

no cars to fill up.

We had no idea that people in other countries

were running around fighting each other.

Life was much easier..

We didn't know the meaning of love

or the feeling of heart break..

I miss being young.

4 weeks down, 2 to go!!

Wow how time truly flies! I can't believe I will see kyle is 2 weeks (and two days)! I bought the cutest, sexiest lil black dress for his graduation... I can't wait to show it off :] :] I have been walking every morning for the past week.. along with swimming and spending time on the Ab Lounge. My skin color is also becoming much darker too! :] I am thinking of getting a hair cut before I fly to Texas to see Kyle. Nothing too drastic... just thinking about possibly getting side bangs, layers and coloring my hair darker. Ok, maybe that is drastic, haha. But seriously, what isn't drastic about my life right now... ? Point justified :]

I've been strong up until this point..

I am very very sad.
Kyle tried calling me again yesterday, twice,
and I missed both calls. He lefts two voicemails
and sounded disappointed. I feel like I have let
him down. I cried all the way home.
I'm just so damn busy running around with
Tyler that half of the time I couldn't tell you
where my shoes or keys are..let alone my
cell phone.

I am so so sorry Kyle :[

It's all down hill from here

Got 2 letters from Kyle yesterday!!

Sounds better than he did in his voicemail. His 'job' is chapel Guide. He attends 3 catholic masses and serves the body of Christ to the right side of the church. He went through some of the rules with me.. totally "prison style" as he stated. He also said his new haircut is interesting haha.
I am so so proud of him...he'll never know. I love you kyle. 3 weeks down, 3 to go!

"I wanna be an Airborn Ranger"

It has been one week I have been without Kyle;one week Tyler has been without his daddy...

Sometimes I feel so strong, while other times so broken down and empty. I miss him.

Despite what I just wrote, when I wrote him last night I explained that this "break" could be for the best. Him and I have had a hell of a year, with many ups and downs and I think we both need this to gather our thoughts, regain our composure and just remember how it feels to really 'miss' one another and just long to hold each other. ((Hey, I am trying to be optomistic here!))

My dad is flying me out to San Antonio the end of July for 4 days to see him graduate [thank you daddy!]. I am absolutely thrilled to be able to do this and so so appreciative. I know it means everything to Kyle, as well.

As far as my friend situation goes, with Kyle being gone and all it has made me realize what it truely important in life (and what just isn't). It has opened up my eyes even more to show me who true friends are... My mom told me once that things will occur throughout my lifetime that will leave me sometimes with less friends and well, I have already been through so many of those situations and I am only 21. Buuuttt, I guess I am learning at a young age how to to properly filter out good and bad people (not really 'good' and 'bad' but rather 'needed' or 'not needed') and I have learned that its better to have only a few great friends rather than numerous good friends...

Had an amazing night!

Gosh, seriously...

..I love the people I work for!

It makes me smile to know that

I will be missed..

Because I know that I am

truely loved.

That's all I really wanted...

Kyle, if you ever see this,

I miss you sooo much already.

I love you so much and am proud of you

like you wouldn't believe.

Thanks for being a man.

"I'm leaving on a jet plane.."

So my official journey begins...

I will kyle-less for the next 3 months, but will get to see him again in 6 weeks when I fly to Texas to watch him graduate from boot camp.

I am so so proud of him..

I gave my 1 month notice to my job yesterday. I will be packing mine and ty's things and moving to Mims with my father and his fiance' untill I move to Mississippi.

I must be honest, I am a little overwhelmed with the responsibility that weighs on my shoulders. I have bills coming in every directions and a toddler to care for all by myself. But I can do this, I can do this, I can do this....I think.....

I'm about to get on my scooter and zoom zoom zoom...

R.I.P

Amber Nicole & Rachael

It was fun while it lasted..

You live and you learn..

"Thank you SO much sir.

I really appreciate it!

No really, thank you"*

*Kyle and I went to the mall today and spoke with Sgt Elder. Unlike the other ass (sorry, that's the only word that describes him) he genuinely cares about our future and answered more than enough questions. He broke everything down for me and wrote it down. Wow.. I feel 10 pounds lighter (I wish!)!

Today I am angry.

I am mad.

Pissed.

Upset.

At you...

and you and you

and you.

T minus 9 days..

This weekend was fabulous.

Had some time with my friends,

but spent most of it snuggled up to Kyle.

When I am near him I feel like I am in heaven;

it's completely blissfull.

I feel safe.

These thoughts are what helped me decide

to pack up everything I own and move to

Mississippi with him.

Sitting here for 10 months without him

is not an option.

No way.

"But you're leaving your

family & friends"

people say

Ha.

Family? My father practically hates me.

Friends? I don't even know the meaning anymore.

The only thing practically keeping me here

is my job.

There my friends and family.

I just wish everyone was more supportive

about this decision. I would love to hear

"You're strong Amber, you can do this"

instead its "I think your making a huge mistake"

Lovely.

Who needs myspace anyway?

I'm Amber Nicole.

[Easy to say, hard to explain]

I am married to the most amazing person

(although sometimes I wont admit it)

& gave birth to a god-sent angel.

My life may seem "perfect" to some..

but to me, it's anything but...

My life has changed over the last 2 years

in ways unfathomable.

I found out I was going to be a mom,

and thought life was going to be perfect.

[Oh how I was wrong.]

I have had more ups and downs

than a damn staircase.

But here I am, starting over again,

on a journey where I don't even

know where to begin..

I have decided to put my thoughts into writing

hoping to one day look back on this journey

and remember it precisely.

My husband leaves in ten days for the

United States Air Force, so life from this point on

will be anything but ordinary.

I invite you to stay tuned & explore with me..